With 130 days left in Korea we still don’t know where we going yet. It’s the question everyone asks. And I get it…but  believe me, I want to know more than you do. Because it would kinda be nice to start figuring out the best neighborhoods to live, what I’ll have access to again…{crossing fingers there’s a Panera}.

But it’s a total crap shoot.

The Army gives us the chance to submit our top 3 choices – but it’s completely their call on whether or not they even factor them into consideration.

Since Eric has a specialty MOS [military occupational specialty] it means that’s there’s only a handful of places we could get sent. In some respects knowing the contenders in advance is nice – it takes out some of the fear factor. But then again, it’d be great to be able to choose from more than just our normal handful.

So let’s run down our options:

1. Fort Eustis, VA
2. Fort Rucker, AL
3. Fort Irwin, CA
4. Fort Polk, LA
5. Fort Bliss, TX
6. Fort Hood, TX
7. Fort Campbell, KY
8. Fort Drum, NY
9. Fort Carson, CO
10. Or the great unknown…always a possibility

FORT EUSTIS: It’s in Newport News, Virginia along the Chesapeake Bay – but we’ve been there before & the magic Army 8 ball says “all signs point to no”.

FORT RUCKER: Alabama. South Alabama. It’s a TRADOC base – which stands for training & doctrine. It’s where they train the Apache pilots to not crash them into the ground – so it’s bound to be out in the middle of nowhere.

FORT IRWIN: California. Another TRADOC base. Needless to say, not in my top 3.

FORT POLK: Louisiana. Not too far from home.

FORT BLISS: Just send me to Hell, that would be preferable over Bliss although it would be just as hot. It’s New Mexico – just south of White Sands, but just north of the drug cartels in Juarez. And they deploy.

FORT HOOD: Closest to home. Only a 2 – 3 hour drive depending on traffic on I35. It’s the largest Army base in the world & we’ve been there before, so the odds aren’t so great. But they also deploy.

FORT CAMPBELL: All I can get out of Eric on this one is that he’d…[quote] prefer to never go back there again [end  quote]. Although Kentucky sounds nice to me. It’s bound to be green & actually get cool come Fall.

FORT DRUM: Outside of the Adirondacks in upstate New York. It’s bound to be gorgeous there – but they get 200 inches of snow a year & deploy left and right…and it’s also the furthest away from home.

FORT CARSON: South of Denver in Colorado Springs. It’d be great to be so close to the mountains – we’d be getting friends & family visiting us for a change.

And last but not least…the Great Unknown.

With the Army you never know what you could get, so you always have to factor in some wild curve ball like “congratulations! You’ve been selected to become a recruiter”…been there, done that.

So I thought it might be fun to do a giveaway – if you guess where we end up, I’ll send you a….ahhh….[looking around]…umm…yeah, I’ll send you something. Maybe a box of Korean snacks: green tea KitKats, Korean moon pies? How about a Seoul Starbucks mug? I don’t know, I’ll think of something.

In the meantime, one guess per person please. And although I wish I could tell you when we’ll find out – set a time limit on this thing – the Army doesn’t work that way. Just know that sometime over the next 130 days we’ll get an email saying….

“Congratulations! You have 30 days to report to….”

Yes, that’s right – twelve bucks, not six.

I had already eaten half, well close to half, and she devoured the other half plus.

But I must admit she was super sneaky about it.

The cellophane was the only evidence she had gotten into it at all.

So what was it?…

Twelve bucks worth of Godiva dark chocolate covered almonds.

Notice how there’s not a single scratch, slobber mark or tear in the outside packaging.

So to the guessers goes the spoils!

Lisa & Hydrant Girl will receive these lovely little brocade wine bottle covers!

And for Bobby?…

Buttermilk, Baby – a whole two frozen quarts!

Just think of the pies you’ll be able to make!

We just need to find a way to hook-up so I can give them to you.

In the meantime, Moo-Moo has been in the dog house…pun intended.

And I’m back to hiding my chocolate.

Hope yall had a great weekend!

The Maggie Moo Mystery Theater proudly presents…

Episode Two: Well, there went six bucks

Act One, Scene One: the Bedroom

On my side of the bed there lies a half-chewed bathroom rug, an old pillow, the lovely pressed-wood Army-supplied nightstand, my latest read & other various sundries.

The rug is for me…(cold toes in the morning)…the pillow is for Moo…(she sleeps on the floor next to me).

And yesterday it was the scene of yet another gruesome crime.

I’ve since removed the crime scene tape – makes it a little hard to crawl in bed at night with that stuff strung everywhere.

But I’ve not yet had the courage to remove the one & only piece of evidence left behind by that mad-cap, manicile maniac, Maggie Moo.

Can you see it?…

It’s right there in the middle!

[pointing desperately]

A lone sliver of the cellophane wrapper that held the most expensive, delectable treat I’ve purchased all year.

Intentionally left on my nightstand (well, it was originally in the drawer to hide it from Eric) it was my reward for a long day’s work & to enjoy while I read my book. I had planned to ration it out for a good three or four months. But now?!…

Now I’m left with the haunting crinkle of cellophane each night.

And it’s all HER fault!

So what was it?

What did the Mooch eat this time?

Guess it right…or in the ballpark…and I’ll find something super cool to send you.

Here’s a hint…it was made by an 80 year-old company originally from Brussels.

Let the guessing begin.

Spotting these baby chicks along the walk with Moo today made me think of Cynthia, my next-door neighbor.

She’s a farmer through & through but has yet to have her own farm. Army life will do that to ya.

Now that she’s in Korea, with a backyard & no homeowners association to get approval from – her dream of having chickens seemed like a reality just waiting to happen.

I’m gonna stop there so you can read her Great Chicken Caper for yourself.

And while you’re at it – she’s giving away a couple of small kimchi pots which would be great for a salt cellar, dips, queso…or…ok, kimchi too, I guess.

But I know she’d love it if you stopped by & entered.

Yall have a great Friday!

Rather than break-out last week’s winner & this week’s commercial into 2 different posts, I’m combining them into one.

The video above is this week’s commercial quipping contest video!

Since it’s obvious what they’re selling (although why they’re selling it is a completely different issue), let’s make this contest entry something fun.

Give the squirrel a name!

Any name will do…Larry…Curly…Moe. I, myself, am partial to Sassafrass. But that’s me.

As always, the rules are the same:

• One entry per person
• Keep it clean
• Contest will remain open for 1 week
• Contest will end Wednesday, Sept. 23rd at 10pm Central US time
• I’ll use Random.org to draw the winner

So what does the winner get this week?…

Well, I thought about actually giving away one of these “drinks”, but I’m not sure I could do that to you…or that anyone would even enter for that matter. Can you imagine the taste?…Ugh!

So I’ve decided to giveaway something that I’ve actually tasted before…and lived to tell the tale from.

[evil grin, slanty eyes]

Mwah…mwah…mwuahhh!

And it was inspired by….are you ready for this?….

I’m serious. I mean are you really ready for this?…

It’s our favorite Korean girl in yellow!

Yep – she’s back…and this time with back-up dancers!

Since they’re workin’ up a sweat…I figured I’d give that away.

So say hello to my little friends & this week’s prize!

Two Bottles of Pocari Sweat!

Yes, my friends…Sweat…Pocari Sweat.

That fun-tasting, Korean Ion Supply-flavored drink that’s just days away from it’s worldwide, corner-the-market domination of sweat drinks everywhere.

(It should be at your local WalMart soon.)

So what about last week’s winner?…

Well, we had all of two entries. And since one of them won the last time, and because I’m all about fairness, that means it’s Dorie!

[jumping up & down]

Dorie! You won! You won! You won!

Oh, won what?…you say?

[skirting the issue]

So a funny thing happened on the way to photograph last week’s prize…

[big cheesey smile]

I took the photograph…I did – I promise. See?

But when I zoomed in to get a close-up…

…this is what I discovered.

[clearing throat]

Well…I think those dates up there are supposed to be expiration dates. And since I promised myself I would do “no harm” with this blog, I cannot in good faith send these to you.

Just can’t do that to you, Chica. I know we just met & all…but nope, I’m certain you’re a fabulous person & I’m certain I would feel entirely guilty if I got an email from you accusing me of wanton, reckless endangerment of a seemingly benign yet highly toxic substance.

(Well, ok…there’s that & I would really like to avoid any legal suits that might arise from said substance.)

So I’m marching my happy-butt back to the commissary to point out their glaring oversight in selling products that..

EXPIRED 3 YEARS AGO!

(C’mon, are you kiddin’ me?!?!? You’re actually selling this stuff?…To military families?!…Do we just not rank unexpired goods & produce?…Do you think just because we’re not in the states it means you can toss out the FDA rules?…Are we just pawns in your governmental game of ‘let’s see what this does’?…Are we just easy-pickin’s for government contractors looking to pad their fat, Armani-suit-wearing pockets by charging the military full-price & selling us stuff the local food shelter wouldn’t accept?…I mean seriously, really? 3 years?!..Would you drink this stuff?)

[delicately stepping off soap box]

However, since I don’t get the car until Saturday, I’m afraid I’ll have to save my self-righteous anger & blogger’s wrathful vengence for 48 hours before I can’t actually…reconisider…I mean, confront…confront someone about it.

Besides, I’m sure there’s a bag boy there that will be very sorry about all of this come Saturday.

I might even make him cry.

(Dorie, PS – So yeah…the long & short of it is…you’ve got another prize coming. I just thought the moment called for a dramatic exit. Let me know where to send it.)