[dee-dee-dee-dee dee-dee-dee-dee dee-dee-dee]

This just in from PNN (Private Network News).

[reading from the ticker tape]

Breaking news out of Camp Humprheys today as Army wives learn of the near last-minute Thanksgiving addition of canned pumpkin to the post commissary.

Riots nearly errupted as wives jockied for what was eventually discovered to be pumpkin pie mix…not actual cans of pumpkin.

Protesters have gathered outside the commissary demanding equal culinary rights under the Julia Child Food Act of 1961.

Store managers are desperately trying to quell the rising tensions by claiming there was indeed canned pumpkin imported & delivered to the commissary…but have yet been able to prove such claims.

A spokesperson from the Libby Canned Goods Corporation could not be reached for comment.

However, in this PNN news photo - emailed to the network from an anonymous source – it seems to clearly indicate that yes, there were a few cans of pumpkin in the store.

What has happened to those reported cans of pumpkin has yet to be determined and the MP’s have been called in to investigate.

………………….

In other news, there was great shouting & jubilation coming from an off-post residence today.

While it cannot yet be confirmed, it would appear a local Camp Humphreys Army wife has won the lottery. However, no one at the residence could be reached for comment.

Congratulations Mrs. Army Wife! We know you’ll spend it well.

This is Army Jane, PNN News, signing off.

………………….

[jumping up & down]

Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

They’re ALL mine! ALL mine! ALL mine!

Whoo Hoo!

*While this story is not entirely true, it’s close. No, there were no protests or outbursts of violence at the commissary. No, the commissary has no idea who I am and for that matter, neither does Libby. I’m hoping the MP’s have no clue who I am & hope to stay that way. I’m just a piddly-little nobody in the worldwide blogosphere who can spin a great tale. But yes – yes, I bought them all. And they’re all mine!

[mwah mwah mwah]