*Before you ask, yes…still in pain. Tomorrow makes 2 weeks straight & I’ve decided everyone is tired of hearing me complain about my head hurting.

So no more! We’ve got important things to discuss here, people!

Like how I’ve had so many embarrassing moments while living in Korea that I’ve officially had to start counting them to keep them all straight.

It’ll be great…our own inside joke system. I’ll say ‘Number Twelve!’ and everyone will roll around on the floor laughing.

[ok, maybe not so much]

But here it is….Number Twelve….in all it’s absolute, horrifying, want-to-go-hide-in-a-corner-&-never-come-out glory.

I’ll call it….

= THE BIG FAT AMERICAN =

A few weeks ago Eric & I decided to swing into Charley’s to grab some lunch to go.

Charley’s is a staple of the American military food vendor system – everywhere you go, there’s a Charley’s.

It’s a cheese steak kind of place, where they cook up hot beef or chicken sub sandwiches.

But you’ll notice that this Charley’s isn’t in the PX food court – it’s attached to a Shoppette (their word, not mine) not far from the mail room.

Shoppette: Kid you not, the official term for all the base’s 7-11 like convenience stores. I mean really, could they think of a more silly word for a bunch of testosterone-pumping Little Green Men to have to use on a daily basis.

For example, ’Hey, I’m goin’ to the shoppette – you want me to pick you up another strawberry-mango wine cooler & some cherry chapstick?’

And because the two businesses occupy one non-descript military industrial steel building, there’s a pass-through inside.

See?…

Just turn left & you’re smack dab in the middle of the shoppette.

So here is where our story begins.

Eric & I walk in…and before heading up to the counter to order he says,

“Get me a regular Philly Cheese Steak with extra sauce – I’m going next door to get us some chips & drinks.”

So I saunter my happy butt up to the counter to find Ms. Korea 2003 working away in her perfectly starched size extra-petite uniform as she says in her broken English,

“Yew-ah ordeh?”

‘Yes, please – I need one regular Philly Cheese Steak with extra sauce and one regular Chicken Buffalo.’

“Yew-ah wannta comm-bow?”

‘No, thank you – just the sandwiches.’

Without batting an eye she punches in the order & meekly steps to the back to fiddle with the fry machine.

As I’m standing there in line waiting for them to finish up the orders of the soldiers in front of us, Eric finally makes his way back across to the Charley’s side to stand in line next to me.

At which point, Ms. Korea 2003 turns to see us together.

Suddenly she let out a very big, yet still highly feminine laugh – almost doubling over..looking me dead in the eye…and says…

“Ohh…yew-ah…ordeh…forah…tewh!!!”

[deep, dramatic bow with sweeping hand flourish]

Ladies & 2 Gentlemen of the blog, I give you Number Twleve.

Thank you & Goodnight.