Exhibit A: Our scalped backyard

While not a barefoot bastion of St Augustine glory, it was at least green & all the bare spots were beginning to fill in.

I was happy because it meant less mud to be tracked in by the Mooch the next time it rained.

But our custodian had other plans this morning.

Actually, I think he got completely distracted or overcome by the 95% humidity while trying to weed-eat, yes weed-eat, our backyard at 0730 this morning.

I heard the noise. I knew he was out there. But did I look?

No.

I learned the hard way my first summer here that the custodian will come into the backyard at ungodly early hours. And when you’ve just woken, come downstairs in your hubby’s t-shirt & nothing else to throw open the curtains & face the day…let’s just say it can be a little embarrassing.

But look! He nearly took out the whole freakin’ yard. It’s all down to the dirt which will mean mud puddle city for Moo.

The kicker is that’s how he left it.

Yep – I think he finally looked up to see his handiwork & decided to get the hell out of Dodge.

I’m just hoping he doesn’t come back tomorrow to finish killing off our yard.

Eric took one look & said, “Hey – when did we get a relief map in our backyard?”

But the more I look at it, the more it looks like they’re putting a Putt-Putt in our backyard. We just need little flags & the spinning windmill.

Exhibit B: Our whacked-off fence line

Because having a backyard is a rarity around here, we’ve all been making the most of it: growing tomatoes, peppers, squash, pumpkins, etc.

And the running joke has been, “If it grows on my side of the fence, it’s mine.”

So I was really looking forward to the free pumpkin or two I was gonna get from Cynthia. ; )

The vine had already started making it’s way down my side of the fence with a couple of nice big blossoms.

But look at it! Chopped! Straddling the tops of the bushes.

Since then I’ve been considering international pumpkin theft, but seeing as how I’d be snatching it from an MP’s backyard…I better be a) very sneaky, b) very lucky or c) very stupid to attempt a great pumpkin heist.

MP – Military Police: That would be the very nice man with the very big gun that lives next door.

Exhibit C: Our beheaded apricot tree

One day a few weeks back I walked out into the yard to discover our lovely shade tree had been butchered for no apparent reason.

I didn’t ask them to do it. It wasn’t crowding any power lines. And it was great at obscuring the view of the screaming kids in the day care across the field.

There was no warning – no convening court to determine it’s fate…he just linched it in broad daylight.

[sigh]

Just when I was beginning to enjoy our backyard.

Yeah, I know I need to do something about the headaches but I’m not exactly sure what.

Trying to get home & get seen by a doctor or two there is a lot of money & a ton of logistics.

If I go outside the Army network I’ll be paying full price out of pocket. And trying to get seen by a different Army doc when I’m not stationed there…believe me, it’s a nightmare. Been there, done that.

I’m always told I have to go see my primary care doctor because they can’t even attempt to input me into their system.

Plus, I always jokingly-but-not-really-jokingly tell Eric if I was to go back home for a visit I’m not sure I could get back on that airplane when the time came to head back.

And maybe I’m just looking at things fatalistically, but really…what is any doctor going to do about 8 lesions in my head?

They won’t operate (which I don’t want anyway, knock-on-wood). They can’t prescribe any medication to make them go away. They can’t even figure out what it is I have in the first place.

It’s just a headache. It’s not debilitating – it’s just annoying as Hell.

But I promise to think on it some more.