Mar
10
2010
If you were me
 wrote this at 8:59 pm

[scenes from our backyard]

Before we got 4 inches of snow overnight, our backyard farmer had begun the long, slow process of prepping his fields.

Like the stereotypical American I am, still in awe of the quiet beauty of the Korean countryside, I waited until his back was turned…heading back to his house…before taking pictures.

Here he’s carrying off the over-grown brambles & dead branches he cleared out.

But the picture I missed was the image of the farmer heading back with Cynthia, my next-door neighbor, racing out into her backyard with still wet hair & her camera – snapping away trying to capture his iconic image as well….How funny would that’ve been?

But I thought I’d share these images while I get back to the business at hand.

Tomorrow Eric & I drive back up to Seoul to see the Army Neurologist stationed at the 121 Brian Allgood hospital at Yongsan.

[If you're just now tuning in, you can catch up here.]

 I’ve tried to compile my own list of questions to ask, to have a better understanding what’s going on, but I can’t seem to get past these few:

  • What is it? (Ok, no brainer – but he most likely won’t know right away & will send me off for more tests.)
  • Is there a way to tell how long these lesions have been in my head? Years? Months? Weeks?
  • Will the military medical system here in Korea be able to treat / manage whatever this is?
  • Or would I be better off if we requested a compassionate reassignment so I could get treatment in the states?
  • Are these lesions permanent? What will be their long-term impact?
  • What areas of the brain are these lesions impacting? Memory? Coordination? etc.

I get to about that point & have to stop…it just becomes too overwhelming.

But I need to make sure I ask everything I can while I’m there.

So if you were me, what would you ask?

I’m also working on setting my intentions & realistic expectations for the appointment so that I don’t leave frustrated or upset.

Things like, he probably won’t know off the bat. And even if he has a pretty good guess, he’ll still have to test to confirm it.

That I need to make sure to listen to everything he says, to not jump in & cut him off when a question immediately pops in my head.

I want this to be a good meeting – I want to develop a good relationship with this doctor.

I want to leave the office feeling like I’m finally on the right path with someone who will care, not just rack me up as another number.

Side Note: Before marrying into the military I had one doctor. One.

One who has known & treated me since I was in elementary school. One who treated my mother, my father, my sister & brother.

And after marrying into the military I realized how rare that is & how fortunate I was to have that kind of relationship. I’ve not seen the same doctor twice in over 4 years, if that tells you anything.

But it also means I tend to be a little more stand-off-ish with new docs.

So yeah, while it may sound funny…I want to feel confident in this doctor.

But what would you ask?

Check it out! 6 Responses - Whoo Hoo!
  1. Terri Barnett says:

    You have compiled a great starting list. Other questions will naturally come along as you get answers to those. Can you take a tape recorder in with you so you will have the entire conversation to refer back to later?? (Mayby a little number that would fit in your purse so the doc won’t feel uncomfortable about speaking openly for fear of a lawsuit later.) I know you will have Eric to help listen, but I know he will be just as nervous as you and may miss a tidbit here and there.

    I think I would have to ask, What causes them? Hereditary, environmental, or just your own system?

    I will keep thinking as my day goes along and post any others I can think of. Know that you are covered in prayer and we are all wishing we could be there to help in any way.

    Love you much.

  2. Scott F says:

    Maybe ask that in the interim on the way to healing, how you can best manage the symptoms (head aches, any other symptoms that may be happening)?
    Is there anything you can do on the prevention end of whatever caused it in the first place and/or on the prevention end of the symptoms being more contained?
    Has he himself successfully treated anyone with this before or has he just studied it, read about it, and/or diagnosed it?
    Does he wear boxers or briefs?

  3. hydrantgirl says:

    I think you, and Scott F and Terri have a great start and the most important is answered- can you treat this here? How does these relate to my headaches? (i.e. are they affecting my cranial nerves? If so, what ones and what do those cranial nerves manage? ) can they permanently damage anything? (I think you said that one already….) What are the risks with any procedures I might require? How common is this?

    Ask him if you can call him after you’ve had a chance to digest whatever he says. You’ll probably think of a million questions after the fact.

    Is there a chance you can call your old Dr for some advice? Maybe he can suggest some questions to ask? Don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion (although I’m not sure if that’s possible)

    Can you research this Dr and the facility? If I think of anymore I too will add them.

    Good luck, I know this has got to be the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through. I’m glad you have Eric to hold your hand.

  4. Tee says:

    Make the list and take it with you take the list.
    Work the list.
    Like Terri said take a recorder ( some cellphones will do the job)
    Ask for a case number to refer back to.
    See if you can request to see only him the next time.
    There are no dumb questions when it comes to your health.
    Sondi and I are thinking of you.

  5. Terri Barnett says:

    Isn’t it funny that only Scott is interested in whether he wears boxers or briefs??? Humm. :)

    There have been some very good questions posed since my posting early this morning. It would be great if he would fax all the info to your old doctor, but if he can’t or won’t, can he email the findings to him?? Surely, he could understand you wanting to get his option on such a serious matter. Remember, you can always use the line, “What would you do if it were your daughter, wife, mother, or sister???” That lines stops many a doctor in his tracks and makes him think outside the “quick and easy answer” box!!!
    Sometimes even the most cold-hearted can find a little compassion.

    Hang in there, kiddo. We love you both and are praying constantly for you.

  6. anxiously awaiting your next posting after seeing neurologist. Thought about you and what you are going through many times today, always followed by prayers. A lot of questions would certainly depend on what they have found on MRI, but to me the “big three” are: what’s the diagnosis?, what’s the treatment?, and what’s the prognosis?. Of paramount importance is making a list. If you are like me, I forget everything I wanted to ask until the doctor has already left the room. The advice to take a recorder is an excellent one. That way you have a chance to digest everything after you get home. God Bless.

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