So I called the hospital this morning & was able to get my Neurology appointment moved up to Thursday, the 11th.

(That would be 2 days from now. Hence the plus 2.)

I jumped at the chance to grab that appointment whether or not Eric could take me – I was just too excited.

But the second I hung-up the phone it hit me.

I’ll have an answer soon.

A diagnosis.

Well, all morning I thought I’d have a diagnosis until I realized I’ll probably have to have a lot more tests – including a spinal tap – and so maybe I won’t actually get a diagnosis on Thursday.

But maybe I’ll get a list of candidates,

“You could have A, B, C or D.”

And hopefully there’s no ‘all of the above’ on that list. But having a list of possibles is both encouraging & frightening.

Needless to say, I’ve been a little numb today – followed by the urge to cry at nothing in particular – followed by the desire to both laugh it off & go crash for the night.

But even crashing for the night has it’s drawbacks.

The last thing I hear before I go to bed is,

“Yoo have some-ting in yoor brain.”

It’s his voice and his face leaning over me.

Not the peaceful, relaxing image I’d prefer before drifting off to sleep.

But that’s the truth of it.

(Yeah, I’m not so much a sugar-coater.)

So Eric has promised to start saying it to me in his voice so I won’t hear the Radiologist’s anymore. ; )

And the flowering bush / shrub / tree?…

I bought it today at market days in the ville. They run on the 3’s & 8’s…so for example, the 3rd, the 8th, the 13th, the 18th, etc.

It was the only one he had & it made me hopeful for Spring.

It made Libby, on the other hand, want to chew it.

[my apologies to Mr. Shakespeare for my butchery]

To Google or not to Google:
That is the question.

Whether ’tis sounder in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous arm-chair diagnosis;

Or to take arms against a sea of worries,
And by Googling end them? To wish: to hope;

To worry no more; and by worry to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural fears

That the mind is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To hope, to pray;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that disconnected sleep what dreams may come.

Could you do it?…Would you do it?

Would you risk adding to your fears?

Would you gamble on a potentially false hope?

Could you stop yourself from digging through every bit of online information?

That’s where I am today.

But enough about me…How are you?