[read part one]

Having listened to no one’s advice about seeing a doctor, knowing for sure I’d seen the worst of this bug & it would be over soon, and just in general being stubborn altogether, fate had other plans for me when I awoke this morning.

Spots.

You can now add lovely little red polka-dotted spots to my list of symptoms.

Spots all over my chest; spots all over my back; spots on my neck & face…spots where spots aren’t supposed to be.

I took it for a sign.

A sign to see the doctor?! (ppffttt!) No….A sign that my time had come & at last I would finally be accepted into the ELE*!!!

*the Evil League of Evil – apologies for the gratuitous & most likely completely obscure Dr. Horrible reference. I thought it was funny.

From this day forward I would rule the world as Plague Girl!

[mwuah...mwuah...mwuah]

I know, it’s kinda lame – I’m still working on my evil laugh. So since I hadn’t yet heard back from the ELE about my application I decided I better play it safe & go see the doctor.

There. Are you satisfied Aunt Terri? Val? Sandy?…who else? Are you satisfied?!

Yes, I went to the doctor.

This was my view for the majority of the time…such a lovely shade of blue.

But I didn’t start out there.

First it was number-number who’s got the number to actually make an appointment to see someone.

After being passed around a few times a lovely little KATUSA with a delicate voice informed me that my doctor was booked up for 2 weeks & that I should go to the Battalion Aid Station (aka – Sick Call).

KATUSA - Korean Augmentation to the US Army: Korean citizens who are serving their mandatory Korean military service as part of the US Army. They wear the US uniform but with a Korean flag patch.

Eric came home to get me & off we went where I was greeted with less than enthusiastic medics who were anxiously watching the clock – ready to bolt for the door the minute it was lunch time.

One medic finally decided he would step up & help and he began taking my history.

(I think it was the spots that got his attention. Other than a little pressure in my chest I was actually feeling better.)

As I went through my symptomatic saga he hooked me up to the vitals machine.

When the blood pressure cuff finally released I looked up to see it say:

157 over 104…pulse 107.

Ok, that can’t be right. He must’ve hooked it up wrong.

So as I asked him to run it again as he was just glancing up to see the numbers. His eyes got a little big & he said, ‘Oh yeah…we’re running this again.’

[pump..pump..pump..pump......phffffiiiizzzzzzz....beep]

160 over 108…pulse 109.

My less than enthusiastic medic suddenly became a bit more enthusiastic.

He finished writing up the numbers & said, ‘I’m walking you over to the medical center right now. You need to see a doctor immediately.’

There was some back & forth between him & Eric about the fact that it’s now lunch time & all the docs would be gone. But the medic was adamant that he’d find a doctor to see me right away because quote – ‘If this was my wife, she’d see a doctor right now!’

So off to the medical center we went.

My little medic was actually a great trooper. He marched his happy butt straight back into the ‘no access’ area to find a doctor.

A few minutes later I was whisked away to a trauma room & prepped for an EKG.

EKG – Electro-something-or-other-graph-I-think: You know – EKG. But did you know an EKG in Korean is still EKG? There’s not another word for it in Hangul. They actually say EKG. True story.

The best part was the look on the woman’s face who was prepping me when she suddenly realized two things:

1. I had spots.
2. She wasn’t wearing gloves.

It was classic.

That’s when I realized my evil plan to rule to world as Plague Girl was going to be much easier than I thought.

Now if I could just find an evil sidekick…hmmm….

I wonder if Leper Boy is available.

[keep reading]